Don't read this if you don't feel like crying.

http://itotallyforgotyougohere.blogspot.com/

I don't know this girl, but after reading her blog, I feel like I do. I had actually looked at this a while ago, on one of those bored days at work where you needed something, anything to pass the time. I hadn't looked at it in a while, but today I revisited it, and my heart broke. She's a friend of a good friend (Adrianna), but I can't help but see myself in her.

She's had a year much like the year I had in 2007-2008. I think I remember originally reading this and feeling like I was a year or so ahead of her, and knowing that she would not only make it through the pain and loneliness and heart-ache that a divorce can bring, but that she would find strength and happiness and joy that she had never imagined. I read a few of her posts at the time and remember having the exact same experiences that she did, and feeling the same emotions she was unselfishly sharing with us all. I admired her and knew that she had so much joy ahead of her, once she made it through the crap of it all.

As I read back on past posts that I'd missed today I see that we've had a lot in common, it makes me sad I didn't follow her closer and maybe even become her friend. But today's posts just broke my heart to pieces. I was just thinking this weekend how happy I am. How far I've come. I have been through a lot of pain and heartache too in the last year or so, but I've learned so much and feel like I can finally let myself enjoy my progress, let that wonderful man love me, and not be afraid to be with him, to fully and completely be with him.

I think she had just gotten to that point too, and he was taken from her. My heart breaks into a million pieces when I think about that happening to the wonderful man that I love. It breaks to the point where I want to run to him at this moment and handcuff him to myself and never let him leave my side again. I let the thought of something tragic happening to him enter my head as he flew to NY last week, but brushed it aside quickly, not wanting to even go there.

Kirsten is there. I know there is nothing in this world that can make her feel better, nothing other than having him back, which cannot be. My heart just breaks.