Wild Woman

I just need to vent here for a minute.  John moved in over last weekend, and I, being excited about it, have told some coworkers and family members, only to be met with a strange, uncomfortable reaction.  Since telling some coworkers that I considered friends, I have felt a definite shift in our relationship at work.  It's gone from personal to professional pretty quickly.  I am the only non-LDS person here on my team, but that is no secret.  It's not like I just came out of the LDS closet or anything.  They see me drinking my coffee, wearing my sleeveless shirts and joke with me about drinking beer like it's some crazy insane thing I do on the weekends.  Yet for some reason this move seems to have made them extremely uncomfortable.  I guess it's not funny to joke about "living in sin" like it is to joke about having a shot of whiskey.

My immediate family has been surprisingly supportive and even happy for John and I.  I was expecting some backlash from them, but when my uncle gave me a disapproving look followed by "we really need to sit down sometime and talk about this", it made me realize how great my own mother and siblings have been.  They love John and honestly seemed surprised when it took us this long to actually move in together.  Hell, my own mother once made a comment about us having kids when he moved in, without the mention of marriage.

It's difficult being the odd man out at work and in my family.  Having been raised in the Mormon church I understand where these people are coming from, but I wish so badly that my own personal choices and beliefs didn't put me on the opposite side of some imaginary line so often, after all, I'm still the same person inside, regardless of what I do on Sunday.  I sit through meetings where church callings, someone's new bishop or fireside talk's they heard last Sunday take up half the meeting, yet when I mention my live in boyfriend, you could hear a pin drop on the carpeted floor and the subject quickly changes.  I'm not a wild chick, I'm 30 years old, have been dating this man for nearly 2 and a half years, we both have full time jobs and I can't tell you the last time I went to a bar or couldn't make it to work due to a hangover.

Utah I love you, but at times I cringe because of you.  It's a good thing you have kick ass mountains and deserts that don't judge me and my evil, sinner ways, and thank god for good friends.

Moving Weekend

It's here, the big moving weekend.  John is officially moving all of his stuff (well, what of it will fit) into the Condo de la Jen and Harvey.  I've been doing my very best to clear out as much space as I can in the place for John to keep things like socks, tools, guns and duct tape.  It's amazing to me that when I moved in I felt like I had tons and tons of space and after 2 years and countless Ikea trips, I now have things tucked into every nook and cranny in that place.  How does that happen?

Goodwill is going to get a nice big donation from me tonight.  I finally finished going through my closet and actually was able to reduce almost 1/2 of my space usage.  I totally deserve a prize for that.  The key you may ask?  Getting rid of any clothes I purchased in the 1990's or that I bought on impulse and still had the DI tags hanging from them.  It's a good rule of thumb.  Oh yeah, that and those piles of jeans that I have been hoping to fit back into for the last 5 years.  I have some curves (or bulges or jiggles) and I accept them and the bigger jeans they require me to wear.  I have found peace.

If I'm being completely honest I am totally excited about John moving in, but also a little freaked out.  I'm going to be living with a boy again.  Living with just me and my small unobtrusive little dog has been so wonderful.  I won't lie, I love living alone more than I ever thought I would.  John is wonderful, don't get me wrong, I love him dearly, but his snoring, stinky socks and the like will take some getting used to on a daily basis.  As I'm sure my long brown hair all over the bathroom, expired food in the fridge, girly movie tendencies and finicky sleeping habits will take some getting used to for him as well.

It's a journey and a path I am more than excited to head down with this man.  Once we get all of that boy stuff moved in, and it starts feeling like "our house" not "my house" I will be nothing but happy, I'm absolutely sure of it.  Really, it's a good thing, too much time on my own lead to really bad habits, like reality TV and Nutella binges, hence those larger sized jeans.

Welcome home John.