Happy Holidays

I have a hard time sticking with the blogging. My apologies to the three of you that read my blogs :)

I am in a weirdly festive mood this holiday season. I think it has to do with a few factors. First off, I don't work retail anymore (insert Jen doing a funky happy white girl dance). Working retail during the holiday's ruins the holidays. You only get to see the absolute worst part of Christmas, the rampant commercialism and need to consume. Also, in my last 6 years of working retail, I worked in a FranklinCovey store. Translation = people only shop here when they are buying lame presents for people that they have no idea what to get. A pen, a picture frame coaster, a metal bookmark. These are not good gifts, these are nice ways of saying, "I don't know you that well, and I don't really care, but didn't want to seem like a dick." Honestly, the lack of time that I've spent in actual brick and mortar retail stores this holiday season just warms my soul.

Secondly life is calm finally. I've been through the ringer the last year and a couple o' months. Last Christmas was the 2nd worst Christmas of my life, having just filed divorce papers, living with my mom, and hating my job. Really, in comparison this Christmas just HAD to be better. I am living in a great little place, have my happy little mutt to snuggle with all the time, I'm working a job I actually enjoy and am even making a little more money, and the divorce is over, and finally all calmed down. Ahhhh.... sigh of relief.

Lastly I have finally learned to just let myself be happy. It sounds funny, but can be so damned hard sometimes. I tend to worry, to worry to the point of panic sometimes. I over think and talk myself into the worst case scenario all the time. The last couple of months, after banging my head on a few walls and dredging up some old ghosts, I have let go, and just learned to be happy where I am, to enjoy my success and let myself feel secure and loved for once. It's kinda nice, it's really nice!

So this year, to the annoyance of some I'm sure. I'm listening to Christmas music, trimming the tree, hanging the stockings, making popcorn garland for the tree, going to see the lights, watching as many heartwarming sappy holiday movies as I can fit in and enjoying myself. I think I've earned it. And, I'm doing all my shopping online. Poor retail workers, may god bless them.